Wow, that was a trip.
I felt really slow on Sunday. I don't know why but I just hit a wall. I didn't sleep well or something. I was getting more frustrated with myself by the minute. I couldn't...put my thoughts together. My feel was just off. My girlfriend saw me getting pissed and said "stop registering" so I did. I unregged everything for the last four hours of my session, except the high roller on Merge because I've decided I love that tournament.
She cooked for me something delicious and cheered me up a bit. With less tables I was able to focus more. I talked with her, laughed a bit, felt better. She watched 21 Grams in the other room. Normally I'd have my headphones on but I listened to the dialogue for a little while. Listening to an ex-con zealously try to get on the right track reminded me poker life is pretty sweet, even on the days you lose what you used to make in five months.
Eventually I could focus on my last few tables...and I had fun again. I ran really well too. I had a bunch of my friends railing...and I want to be on when they watch, because they keep me on my game. They dissect every decision. They look over my HHs. They make me explain every action. They teach me. It's really good to have my circle of friends in poker, because alone in my office...I can blow off a decision. I've worn down every pleasure center. I've killed every cell involved in risk aversion. I don't...get it. I don't worry. I don't feel it. I don't get it. I like to solve puzzles, that's all.
Naza114 and I were talking the other day, and we were talking about how you can't take a hand off anymore. People play really well. If you don't take every pot that you can, if you don't empty the clip when you know the barrel will work...these guys will get you know. These kids play good.
For a long time I just showed up, and figured if I played well the money would come. That worked for years. It doesn't anymore. I have to challenge myself to play better every session.
I'm glad I have Pocketfives Training because there's no kidding myself. I posted my WCOOP 5k HH, a tournament I played antsy because I hadn't played in months, and boom the decisions are there for everyone to see. A retarded call down, an anxious call out of position, an overly loose play, I can't hide it. But when I pull off some of the other maneuvers I get to think aloud about why it worked. In my head, in my office, with only my voice - I can kid myself. Most humans are word class bullshitters. We do things half assed and say it's our best, and then wonder why that other guy's got it. It's because he doesn't perceive that he has anything. There's always that voice telling him to study some film, put in those hours.
I just feel blessed things are really coming together now. Cashings checks, sending money to my family and my friends who helped me out before, putting money in savings, upgrading the office, putting food in the fridge...I don't know it just feels good. I lost so damn much between all my horses accounts and mine with Full Tilt, I struggled in the wake of Black Friday...I was just winded, devastated, not feeling my best, feeling like a year of my life had been knocked out in one night, and nobody cared. It's not like I felt the pain consciously but there's something hard about going "a year of 80 hour weeks is gone." I love my work, and I learned from that time, but...damn you feel like you reach this mountaintop, and you got there clear headed for once, and you just get your ass knocked back on down to base camp in one day. What are you going to do?
One other thing coming together is Kingdom of Poker, another project I've been working on. Our official launch is February 8th, but you can get $10.00 free if you sign up before then. To claim this bonus, use the deposit bonus code “CASH10”, make a minimum of a $20 deposit and get an extra $10 credited in your Kingdom of Poker real money account instantly. No playing is necessary to clear this bonus. The “CASH10” deposit bonus will be credited instantly and can be used anywhere in our cardroom. However, players are not able to withdraw the $10 bonus until 288 Kingdom Points have been earned. Each resident can only use the “CASH10” bonus code once. On top of that, we are also offering a 100% deposit bonus up to $1000. Simply use the bonus code “FREE1000” when making your deposit.
Just click on this link if you're interested:
And thank you in advance for checking out projects I'm a part of. Oh, and it should be noted, Kingdom Of Poker at this time does not accept US citizens living in the US.
But yeah it's just been good. I hope this blog doesn't come off as gloating. I just try to write to have a record of what's going on, and to have a mental line check. I really appreciate how people check out my lessons, my P5s Training videos, hopefully Kingdom Of Poker, and my articles. It's hard to make money in this economy. So many of my friends with real degrees are having a hard time finding a job that pays well. Even though work in this business can oftentimes be on spec, I just feel really lucky to be working and healthy, doing something I like.
Anyways, I should probably get grinding this 1k Tuesday. I farted around already most of Monday. Well, I got some lessons done. I'm having a harder time fitting in a bunch of lessons with a full MTT schedule, so I think I'm going to have to take two days to do a ton here soon. I also gotta bang out more P5s vids, finish the WCOOP series. But yeah I got a bunch of lessons done. I took my dog to get his first hair cut. The assholes shaved him up to look like a chick poodle. He didn't look anything like the cool dog I'd had for seven months.
Anyways, while they were wrecking my perro's chances of getting laid I went to this park near the place, got a smoothie, and read a high high level poker player's e-book on my tablet . A lot of it was repetitive or stuff I didn't think would work in the games anymore. There were other sections where the guy was clearly holding back, because anyone with proficiency with HEM would know how to work some of the things he was talking about, and he claimed total ignorance, or "try this three times on your opponent." But yeah, there were some really interesting line ideas. Just stuff that got me really thinking. I guess it wasn't much of a day off, but it feels like a huge opportunity to learn some real ideas as far as No Limit Hold'em.
It makes me feel better about my decision to stay in tournaments. I think I can make more money here. There's no way in hell the regs see some ideas ahead of time. They play really well, but finite stacks mean your learning will be stunted in certain areas. I'd get eaten alive at higher stakes cash games, but except for when NeverscaredB owns me, I really feel like I'm handling myself well in MTTs, and I'm happy to still be hanging in there when so many of my old friends have given up or been grinded out.