Contrario (Departing From Me)

Commerce, California

Step on these statues.

Drinking a Gatorade in a trucker motel. I stare at the highway, slick with a thick LA rain. Underneath the highway is where I took the bus this morning. Up through to Commerce.

I feel nasty good when I'm this cheap.

Get on a pay phone to pick up my money.

I raised 8-8 today from a 28k stack in the LAPC. My raise was to 800 at 150/300. Guy in his 20s makes it 2000. I flat. The board comes Q-5-7. I check, he bets 3,200. I call. Turn comes an ace. I check and the guy bets $6,700. Technically, when you consider a call here, you're supposed to note how you're perfectly set up for a river jam which you'll receive often and which you cannot call. I felt so in tuned today. I knew I could call and he wouldn't touch a chip on the river. I knew he was double barreling the great barrel card.

The hand in itself is not that amazing. I just felt so good playing the hand. I used to be so uncertain with my game and life. Constantly I'd wrestle with the correct way to approach ranges, and as I could not approximate what was coming in my life, nor could I correctly assess a hand range. I thought I'd lost my mind for a while. Truth was I just was getting it back. And then some. I feel so at peace. That hand happened at the end of the day. I wasn't fatigued much. I was still positive.

I played like it was a war. I never once felt in combat. This allowed me to push further.

These live events are peaceful to me now. Sorry if I have not gotten back to you, I'm playing a 10k. I constantly in a normal day ask myself if what I am doing is an appropriate use of my time. There's no question what I'm doing here isn't massively profitable.

Why is there a children's urinal in a 21+ casino?

I went with Jaka to a chicken and waffles place. Apparently it was where LL Cool J met with his agent to take on Deep Blue Sea. I felt like I was back in the Bahamas. They served us big country fried chicken with gravy and waffles.

I look to my left and think "Mcdonald's commercial." One white dude, black couple, and an Asian guy.

Heartwarming thing here is its not a casting call.

Jaka told this story about how he saw a Ukrainian paper delivery van with a guy puffing a blunt and throwing newspapers out at 5:00 AM.

I hope I remember half of this shit when I do write a book about all the crazy stories I've heard on the road.

Jaka's older brother was there, and he was real cool. Jaka's people really are the most chill and open-minded I've met. It's been an adjustment for me, learning how to talk to people without being blasted. I never feel uncomfortable around them. I felt real good being able to have a good time with some chill people and not feeling the need to puff on something.

I get offered so much. I'm glad it's so easy now to say no. It's not I'm some anti-drug preacher. It just messes up my meds and my focus. Nothing feels as good as my focus now.